Brothers' Hurt and Elrond's Pains
by KaiahAurora
Summary: Elrond always has to fix Aragorn and Legolas when they come back broken and bleeding from their adventures. The twins help, but Elladan and Elrohir can be evil. A series of scenes from the many times that the elf lord fixes our two troublemakers. Fluff, funnies, and a bit of angst.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a series of drabbles I made because I was bored. Elrond's many pains and trials when Aragorn and Legolas come back from an adventure broken and bleeding. The twins help, but can be mean.

* * *

Lord Elrond sat working at his desk. He was writing a response to King Thranduil, who had sent a letter asking how his son was fairing in his stay at Rivendell. Lord Elrond was telling the king of his astonishment that neither Legolas nor Aragorn has been hurt thus far in the prince's visit – the archer had been in Imladris for over a week now – but he supposed that there was a first for everything.

A startled cry sounded from somewhere down the hall, then raised voices shouting. "Ada," Elladan called, bursting through the door. "We need you. They've done it again."

Elrond got to his feet slowly, sighing. He followed his son down the hall and towards the hall of healing stopping first to drop his half-completed letter into the fire.

XXX

"I cannot believe this," Lord Elrond stated, staring at the two figures before him. "Legolas, you have not been here a day and look at what you've caused." Aragorn and Legolas were both covered head to toe in mud, bleeding from several wounds each, and grinning apologetically.

"It is not all my fault, hir-nin," Legolas said quietly, coughing as a little more pond water escaped from his lungs. "Whenever your son comes to Greenwood we are injured just as quickly."

"And your father is not nearly so forgiving," Aragorn muttered under his breath.

"At least he always sends a search party after us," Legolas said back. "And he has private healing rooms for us each."

"But then he forbids us from getting hurt for the rest of my visit."

"As if you could blame him. I remain amazed that he has been able to enforce it. We can get injured no matter where we are."

"Please, you two," Lord Elrond said, holding up a hand. "Wash yourselves off and then come to the hall. I will be with you shortly." As the two shuffled stiffly off to the baths, Elrond finished. "And perhaps I will enforce a few rules of my own."

XXX

"Ada!" Aragorn's voice sounded frantically from the entrance. "Ada!" Lord Elrond ran for the window, seeing his human son supporting a blood-soaked figure and stumbling away from the stables.

"Valar," Elrond exclaimed as he started towards the stairs, calling out as he went. "Elladan! Elrohir! Trasta!" /trouble/

The twins needed only to hear their father's words before they were beside their brother and friend, catching Legolas and supporting Aragorn as his broken ankle threatened to fold. They brought the pair up to the hall of healing, a very familiar place to all five of them. Aragorn was speaking in a mixture of Sindarin, Quenya, and Western, all words slurred because of his concussion and exhaustion.

"Ada, there were… _yrch_… _pilinn_… I did not see… he was _yarvaxëa_… he said it was _andelu_, but I said not… _arnoidiad_…" /orcs/ /the arrows/ /blood-stained/ /dangerous/ /without thinking/

Lord Elrond ignored his son for the most part, concentrating instead on the prince. He was barely breathing, two arrows embedded in his chest, both broken at the shaft. It was obvious that Aragorn had tried to help his friend, but his own injuries had prevented him.

"Elrohir," Lord Elrond commanded. "Quickly, get the herbs ready. You know which ones."

Elrohir nodded and carefully helped his father secure Aragorn before running down the hall as quickly as he could. Aragorn was still rambling, saying that it was his fault and that his brother would die. They knew that he meant neither Elladan or Elroir, but Legolas. The two were most certainly brothers – they had almost gotten each other killed enough times for it to be official.

By the time they laid Legolas down on one of the beds, his chest was so soaked in blood that they were forced to soak it up with a cloth before attempting to remove the arrows. While Elrond and Elladan worked over the fallen prince, Elrohir took care of Aragorn, not so much healing him as keeping him from stumbling towards his friend. It was obvious that the man was incoherent, and in his confusion was unwilling to let anyone near Legolas for fear that they might hurt him.

Several hours later, Aragorn was asleep and Legolas was at least still breathing. The prince had awoken, and had of course asked how long he must stay in bed. Elrond had scolded him briefly for his stubbornness, and told him that he must stay at least one week in bed. When Legolas complained, loudly, Lord Elrond pointed to the bed next to them. Aragorn lay sprawled out on his back, bandages around his head and leg. The man was dreaming in his drug-induced sleep, and two words he said over and over again. "Legolas" and "_gwador._" /brother/ Legolas smiled fondly at the man and agreed to stay in bed as long as Aragorn would.

Lord Elrond eyed both of them skeptically, trying to remember just how much sleeping medicine he had left. Knowing those two, he would need it.

XXX

"What happened?" Elrond exclaimed, not so much angry as shocked.

"We were being pursued," Legolas said, keeping a firm hold on his dazed companion. "We had no choice but to attempt to leap over the cliff."

"I had less success than he," Aragorn smiled, obviously pleased with himself despite of his pain. "I managed to collapse the entire edge. Legolas was forced to dive into the river to get me."

"And why are you so happy?" Elrond asked in exasperation. The two friends exchanged a contended look.

"Because Elladan and Elrohir never caught us."

XXX

"That is it!" Elrond shouted, his patience finally spent. "I cannot believe you two! Are you deliberately trying to age me with worry?"

"I apologize," Legolas muttered. "I did not mean to."

"He speaks the truth, ada," Aragorn put in. "It was an accident."

Lord Elrond turned on his son. "An accident? You were both nearly killed! And now Legolas must postpone his return to Greenwood because he has broken _twenty three bones_. How is that even possible?"

"Twenty four, if you count his nose," Elladan supplied helpfully from where he and his twin stood in the corner, watching the exchange.

"I am sorry!" Legolas said again. "I did not see the hunter's trap. We were running very fast."

The elf lord passed a hand tiredly over his face. "I do not blame you, dear prince. I simply wish that a visit may pass without one or the both of you falling in harm's way."

"They did not so much 'fall' as 'roll down' harm's way," Elrohir smiled and his twin laughed quietly. Lord Elrond looked at his two sons, then back at Aragorn and Legolas.

"What do they mean?"

"Well…" Legolas gave Aragorn an uncomfortable look.

"Estel?" Elrond said warningly.

"There was a hunter's trap at the top of a very steep hill," Aragorn admitted finally. "Legolas ran into it first, triggering it. I was too close to him to stop, and so was caught in it as well. My weight caused the entire thing to fall down the hill. I managed to catch hold of a tree near the top, but Legolas was entangled in it… he did not see the river at the bottom."

"Or the thorn bushes beyond that," Legolas added softly.

"Or the sharp rocks beyond that," Elladan put in with a little too much mirth.

"Or the small cliff at the end," Elrohir finished with a smile.

"That does it," Elrond threw up his hands in defeat. "From now on, you two are not to go outside ever again. You are to stay in a room with walls and a floor made of pillows, and your entire bodies will be wrapped with cotton. And you," he said, turning to his laughing twin sons. "You two will be their slaves."


	2. Chapter 2

"Elladan! Elrohir! What in all of Arda do you call this?"

The twins hung their heads in shame before their father, all the while trying to suppress mirthful grins. Just inside the carved double doors, Aragorn and Legolas patted each other on the back, or as close as they could get to it. Aragorn's left arm was immobilized in a sling and his right wrist was sprained, making congratulatory movement quite difficult. Legolas was also having troubles, as his broken ribs were bound, making all movement a burden.

"I am glad that they got what they deserved," the man muttered, trying to appear serious.

"Indeed," Legolas laughed, wincing at the movement. "Your plan was well laid, though I doubt that they will be forgiving us anytime soon."

"It was not as if we could convict them of their true crimes," Aragorn said reasonably. "They were the ones who broke the code of the war, and thus they had to answer for their wrongdoings. And I never liked that rug."

Both man and elf laughed a little at this, only to stop immediately when Lord Elrond entered the room. "Those two fools," he muttered, checking Aragorn's injured shoulder. "They should have known better. The porridge, I could understand. But the ink? I will forever wonder how they managed to spill it on themselves in the process."

The elf lord went over to re-bandage Legolas' ribs. "And the nuts in the doorway; it was simply asking for an ill outcome. Why by all the Valar did they have to set up their trap before the stairs? Honestly, you would have thought that I had taught them enough to have some common sense."

Aragorn and Legolas exchanged glances, silently telling each other to keep a straight face. Lord Elrond finished his duties and made for the door. The two invalids thought that they had gotten away with it, until Elrond paused at the entrance to the halls. He spoke without turning around. "Mouldy lettuce… that took it just a bit far. At least it acted in breaking their fall down the stairs. I thank you for that one token of kindness." He took one more step before pausing again.

"Oh, and I must ask you to replenish my ink as soon as you are able; it was not intended for such purposes and now I have none left. And a lock for my desk drawer would also be appreciated. I'll have some soup sent up for you. I do not want to see you two moving anymore, no matter how ignoble a cause you wish to aid. Goodnight to you both."

XXX

Lord Elrond walked quickly down the halls, trying to retain some form of dignity despite his obvious fear. It had been a long day, and he did not want it to end in bloodshed. The jubilant shouts he had heard all morning had suddenly ceased, and the ominous silence worried him more than it should. Taking after his brother, Aragorn had learned how to make trouble, and the young Prince of Greenwood seemed to have no small pleasure in aiding him. In all of his thousands of years in Middle Earth, Elrond had never seen two beings more capable of getting injured.

He silently cursed himself for banning their play outside. While they might have scuffled and possibly shot at one another with arrows, inside they were hard-pressed to find danger – as was the plan – and had therefore had instinctually made their way to the most hazardous room in Imladris: the kitchen. Originally the cooking staff had been more than willing to keep an eye on the two of them, but as the day had progressed, Elrond had noticed more and more elves leaving the kitchen with tasks that would take a suspiciously long time. It had been a long day, and he could not blame them.

It was only after three hours or so that the clattering had begun. Lord Elrond had asked of the cause to an elf who had suddenly decided to replenish their stocks of lemongrass, and was wiping some form of soup from her robes. The cook replied with the horrible words. "They are cooking, hir-nin."

With this knowledge, the elf lord had returned to his office to hide. It had been a long day, and he did not wish for it to involve an argument. Whatever state the kitchen was in at the end of the day, he would make them clean it to perfection. However, as the reassuring sounds of relatively harmless entertainment had ceased, Elrond instantly started towards the kitchen. Images of sharp knives, raging fires, and countless utensils flooded through his mind.

As he neared the door at the end of the hallway, which seemed to have grown enormously in its distance from his office, he heard hushed whispers. Intrigued, he slowed his pace to listen. "That looks bad," Legolas was saying in a worried voice. "I do not think I can stick it back on."

"Maybe _ada_ won't notice," /father/ Aragorn said hopefully. Lord Elrond paled and started again.

"But it looked expensive," Legolas tried again. "Should we not tell him?"

They were not injured. There was no bloodshed or missing limbs. Just something… expensive. That was alright. He would just speak to them firmly about dangerous horseplay.

"We cannot tell him now, Las! Just look at the state of the place! He would have a heart attack!"

Lord Elrond stopped, turned, and walked back the way he had come. It had been a long day indeed.

XXX

"Snowmen?"

"Yes, snowmen."

"You are sure?"

"I am! It was them!"

"Snowmen attacked you," Lord Elrond repeated slowly, just to make sure he had not misunderstood.

"Yes!" Legolas said in exasperation. "Do you think I could have done this to myself?"

Elrond raised an eyebrow but did not say what he thought. While three broken fingers, a sprained ankle, and mild hypothermia were nothing to be laughed at, he would not have put it past the young prince to find some way to manage it.

"And where were you when all this happened?" the elf lord asked his son, who sat on the bed opposite.

"I told you already!" Aragorn protested. "Did you not hear? I was being tied up by the bears."

Lord Elrond passed a hand over his face. "I heard you, ion-nin, I just had trouble believing."

"Oh, it is all quite true," Legolas said with a straight face, reaching over to ruffle the hair of the nine-year-old human. "In fact we were handling ourselves quite well until the ice broke."

"Ice?"

"Yes, the ice on the pond," Aragorn supplied, as his friend had flushed red. "Legolas said that elves could walk on ice, and I told him to show me."

"Technically the ice did support me," Legolas said to Elrond. "Just not while I was throwing snowballs at the 'bears' who had captured Estel."

"You rescued me!" Aragorn exclaimed, leaping off the bed and hugging his friend. "Was he not brave, ada?" /father/

"Indeed," Elrond said, raising his eyebrows at the famed archer and ferocious elvish prince. "Very, very brave."


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so sorry for not updating this sooner! School and things like sleeping and eating have gotten in the way of my fanfictioning! But it's break, now, and you'll get a lot more updates because of it! The following three stories are a series. Let me know if you want any specific type of torture for the next chapter!

* * *

"For the last time, Aragorn, I am fine!"

"No you are not! One does not simply collapse when they are fine."

"Perhaps I was just exhausted from your constant mothering!"

"If you would just cooperate then I would have no need to mother you!"

Lord Elrond sighed and pressed his fingers against his temples. This argument and those similar had been going on for over an hour, switching between elvish and western at a dizzying pace. Even when he had finally convinced the two to drink some herbal tea, they had continued to bicker uncontrollably. He was glad, though, that it had distracted them from the slightly bitter taste of a special herb he had slipped in their drinks.

"If I may," the elf lord said, wincing as the combined glare of two pig-headed warriors turned to meet him. "Legolas, you do need to rest. The poison from that arrow has not left your system yet, and Estel has the right to be worried. After all, you do have a history of ignoring the severity of your injuries." The wood elf blushed and looked away, and the man's face beamed in triumph. "However," Elrond continued, fixing his glare on his adopted son, "this does not allow him to let his own health deteriorate by constantly shouting at you and keeping all of Imladris awake."

"Well, unless you can knock him unconscious, I doubt you will get him to rest!" Aragorn said in the western tongue, folding his arms over his chest.

"That will not be a problem," Elrond said in the same language and facing Legolas. "As I put sleeping herbs in your tea."

"Ha!" the ranger exclaimed, a little hysterically. "Finally, I will be able to treat him properly!"

"You misunderstand," Elrond said, switching back to elvish. "I put sleeping herbs in your tea." (1)

Both Aragorn and Legolas' face paled, and the elf lord watched as their eyes grew heavy and they fell, unwillingly, into sleep. Elrond looked fondly at the two idiots, and then went outside the hall of healing. Elladan, Elrohir, and Glorfindel stood waiting cautiously against the wall.

"It is done," Elrond reported, and all four of them breathed a long sigh of relief.

"I will spread the word," the Balrog-slayer promised. "Everyone will finally be able to relax."

"Honestly," Elrohir shook his head, "I thought they would never shut up."

"And they are both alright?" Elladan asked, ignoring his brother though silently agreeing with him.

"Estel merely worked himself up into a panic," Elrond sighed. "But I am worried about Legolas. Aragorn did have a point when he said that our prince might be concealing his injuries."

(1) for those of you who don't speak elvish fluently, you should know that they have both a singular and plural form of "you." So, when Elrond said it in English, Aragorn thought that he was referring only to Legolas. Then, when he repeated it in elvish, our ranger realized that he had been drugged.

XXX

"You cannot be serious!"

"Oh, yes I can! You are ill!"

"I am not. Ada, tell him so!"

"You have a fever, Estel!"

"Oh, as if you know. You are no healer!"

"I do not have to be a healer to tell that your face gives off more heat than the sun!"

Had it really only been two weeks? Two weeks since Aragorn had come home with and unconscious Legolas, claiming the elf had simply collapsed? It felt like a few decades. Though initially he seemed alright, the poison had been worse than any of them could have expected, and Legolas had nearly lost his life. Even now he was still very weak. Aragorn, naturally, had abandoned all to help his friend, and had completely exhausted himself several times. Elrond had been able to sedate the ranger through tea each time, despite having fooled him and Legolas once already, as the man had either been too distracted or too tired to notice. Now, though, they faced a different opponent.

A knock on the door drew his attention to the twins who lingered there. Both were holding bowls of a thick soup. "Is it ready?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," Elladan confirmed. "Herbs for fever in Estel's and a sedative in both."

"And lots of pepper to disguise the flavor," Elrohir added. "Do you really think that they will fall for it again?"

"I hope so," Lord Elrond breathed. "Hand me the tea?"

"You are as pale as I have ever seen you!" Legolas was saying as they entered the room. He accepted the bowl offered to him with a nod of thanks, but continued hassling the sickly ranger.

"It is your imagination," Aragorn waved his friend off and took a spoonful of soup. "Rather spicy, is it not?" he asked his father.

"For your congested nose," Elrond hurriedly explained. "It will clear your airways. Now," he said, seeing that Legolas was sniffing his soup suspiciously. "Would either of you like some tea?"

"Oh, no! I will not fall for that again!" Legolas said, waving his spoon at the elf lord. "I will be making my own tea from now to the end of Arda."

"Do not wave your spoon at me, princeling," Elrond rebuked sternly. "What about you, Estel?"

"I fear that you have ruined any chance of me trusting you, ada. Wonderful soup, by the way."

"I am glad that you enjoy it," Elrond said before returning to the twins, who hovered at the doorway. "They should be unconscious within the space of five minutes. Make sure that they do not spill the soup all over the beds, would you?"

"Yes, ada," the twins said in unison and exchanged evil looks. They would watch dutifully over their brother and friend, and be sure to be well clear of the room by the time the terrible wrath awoke to find they had been drugged once more.

XXX

"Say it just one more time, for I do not think I heard you clearly before." Elrond looked at his sons over steepled fingers. "I can understand that, after three weeks indoors, one would want some air. I can also understand that you would want to accompany them. I can even understand that pent up energy is hard to deal with and control. But please, if you will, define 'lost them.'"

"We both though that the other was keeping track of them," Elrohir explained, not looking his father in the eye

"And they were positively mad, running around like Valar-knows what," Elladan told his shoes.

"And, with all this noise and ruckus they must have been causing, you still managed to let them disappear?" Elrond sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell me you have a search party out looking."

"Several," Elladan said quickly. "And as soon as you allow us we will go look as well."

Elrond pushed himself up from his desk, where his letter to Thranduil saying that "Legolas has healed and is resting well" lay half-completed. He would have to start again, now.

"Aragorn is still not well," The elf lord said, with his back to the twins, looking out of the window. "And Legolas has not yet regained his strength. Did they have their weapons?"

"No, we would not let them," Elrohir said softly.

"Good, then they will not try anything too rash. Go search for them, and if they are in any way injured or worsened by their 'outdoor experience,' tell them that I will personally murder them."

"Yes, ada," the twins said and hurried out the door.

Elrond sat back down at his desk and pulled out a fresh piece of paper. He thought for a moment, and then started writing what he hoped never to have to send. "Thranduil, I am afraid that Legolas has gone missing along with Aragorn. They are both weakened from their trials and have no weapons." After a pause, his mouth curved into a half-smile. "How do you want me to torture them upon their return? I have some lovely hair dye in my reserve..."


End file.
